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  • Lorna Ilena Bussue

WHO AM I?

Sometimes life throws a curve ball at us and we have to spring into action and ensure that it leaves only positive outcomes.

The hammer struck for Emeralda's retirement on the dot of 55 years. She did not get the mandatory years which would have helped to prepare her for her final departure from the work force.

She mused on how retirement could sometimes instill a sense of insecurity when one is not able to earn in the accustomed capacity.

Emeralda felt that sense of displacement and insecurity which stemmed from uncertainty of being able to support her home. These thoughts were unsettling and led to depression. She however, realized that nothing good can come from that state of mind and so she fought to hold on to her sanity.

Emeralda could have used counseling as an outlet to release her pent up emotions but her reticence rendered her too self conscious to bare her soul to anyone. It was much easier for her to write about her feelings.

Her experiences have forced her to examine her relationship with self. Although some of these experiences impacted her negatively, they nonetheless led to her discovery of self. This led to the barriers that she had built to hide her true feelings being broken down. She now focus on molding her inner self. By coming to terms with herself she now enjoys self growth and a deeper awareness of self actualization.

This growth has given Emeralda the strength to embrace those who positively influenced her life while letting go of the negative influencers. She has no room for negativity in her life.

Emeralda walked away from her experiences with the knowledge that her choices in life had not only affected others but had hurt her deeply. The marks are indelible but rather than seek to blame others, she has chosen a course where she is tolerant of others. She has no desire to waste her life away by trying to change the past. This has strengthened her growth as she looks hopefully to a brighter tomorrow.

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